FRESH, NEW START… WITH BUYER’S REMORSE

2 CORINTHIAN 5 :17

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come.

 

I sit and stare at the face of a new computer, excited about the prospects of the year. But as I sit here ready to take on the new year with a bang, I find myself unable to think of what to write. I started last year the same as every other year, as I believe we all do every year – with a sense of new beginning, excitement and a feeling of relief that the old year is done. Every beginning of the year is almost like we have ended a story book and now it’s time to start a new one. But which one will we choose?

 

A drama

A comedy

A love story

A thriller

A documentary

An action story

 

But is it actually our choice after all? Or do we just carry on with the sequel of the previous story? New Year’s resolutions? What is the deal with that? Why is it so hard to follow through with them? I believe the answer lies in our Faith, or lack thereof.

As I write these words on my new computer, or ‘laptop’ rather as that’s what it is, an Apple MAC Pro laptop… The laptop I decided to buy myself as a reward for working like a Trojan this holiday season.  And because I heard a very wise worshipper once said: “If you are a writer, make sure you have the best pen and paper to write with so that you always feel inspired and not inhibited by something that does not work properly.” So I am typing away on my new gift to myself, the best computer I believe for recording music, burning CD’s and writing these blogs that I could afford, or maybe couldn’t afford at the time.

It is something I have wanted for years now, a laptop that has all the possibilities that it could give me to make this dream come true. What is this dream of mine? To worship God in song. How will I go about doing it? By having Faith. Is that all I need? YES!!!

Now why do I have buyers remorse?

Going to sleep last night I was so excited about the prospect of starting this year with the things that give me a feeling of satisfaction and a positive outlook. But waking up this morning I was feeling condemned by the price I paid for a piece of hardware I probably did not need, and definitely could not afford, seeing that I need to urgently plough money into my business.

But as I write these words, oh no sorry, type these words, I am reminded again that my God is the maker of all things. He is the provider of all things. He is the One I worship and praise. He is the reason I have this new dream, this new drive, this new goal. He is the reason I start this new year with excitement. The prospect of what’s to come within the safety of His arms.

I started the year off in 2015 with great anticipation. I ended the year within a bubble of many questions. I start this new year reflecting back on the past, but closing the book. I start the new year with no regrets, but rather a new outlook of Faith for God’s purpose, to fill the pages of the new book of 2016. Reflecting on the last 8 years I have had great sadness along with amazing breakthrough:

  • Losing my Dad caused me to start writing and becoming part of our worship team at church
  • Getting baptized caused me to start hearing God’s voice through songwriting
  • Growing my business and moving allowed me to learn that bigger is not always better, but there is a reason for everything as through all hardship we always learn a lesson
  • Selling half my business helped me to buy all my recording equipment and piano, the start of a dream, for the gift He had already given me before I was able to play
  • Moving my business home allowed me to have time to worship God more in the secret place, allowing the Holy Spirit to teach me to play piano, putting chords to my the songs that He gave me
  • Losing my sister sparked the drive to release my songs to the world, to draw nearer to Him and grow spiritually, to seek His face in the secret place and to start writing
  • Being disappointed through deception within my business taught me I can’t help all people, it’s God that helps them, I am only apart of His plan, I can just be obedient and available. He is the one who will change their hearts, if and when they are ready.

This whole end of 2015 and all its drama made me realise my focus needs to be faithfully upon Him, that our dreams can change, our focus can be misplaced, and that in the end God has overcome. My buyer’s remorse, my lesson in this, is my lack of faith. God gave me this gift and he has proven time and time again that He is my provider. I don’t need to be worthy, I don’t need to be perfect, I just need to be willing just so that He can use me wherever He needs me.

My new Apple MAC Pro – a tool to be excellent in with what God has given me to further His Kingdom for His glory – leaves me grateful.

Psalm 103:4

Let all that I am praise the Lord, let me never forget the good things He has done for me.

I truly hope that this year, you will write your new book for 2016 with faith that His purpose is greater than your own, and that your desires for the year to come will be in alignment with His will for your life. Let’s start the year with no regrets, but full of faith in Him and the purposes of the dreams He has placed in our hearts. Let’s reflect positively on 2015 and the past, learn from it and move on. God does not give us anything that we cannot cope with.

PHILLIPIANS 4:13

I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me

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