Joshua 3:13 And as soon as the priests who carry the ark of the Lord—the Lord of all the earth—set foot in the Jordan, its waters flowing downstream will be cut off and stand up in a heap.”
14 So when the people broke camp to cross the Jordan, the priests carrying the ark of the covenant went ahead of them. 15 Now the Jordan is at flood stage all during harvest. Yet as soon as the priests who carried the ark reached the Jordan and their feet touched the water’s edge, 16 the water from upstream stopped flowing. It piled up in a heap a great distance away, at a town called Adam in the vicinity of Zarethan, while the water flowing down to the Sea of the Arabah (that is, the Dead Sea) was completely cut off.

Its amazing how we can blind ourselves to our inner calling when we feel that a move could hurt people we love, and that a move could make close people uncomfortable around for a while. Leaving questions that just cannot be answered or understood. What is even more amazing is how the lack of encouragement can make you believe that the calling within is just not real, just because others are unable to see it. Or so you think?
Can you imagine the thoughts running through these twelve men’s minds as they step into a raging river with a heavy ark on poles, trusting that the waters will not wash them and the ark down stream! They had to make the move with Faith and trust that God would do what He said He would. And only once they were in the river did the waters part for them to cross on dry ground. Now the front guys would have had to be in almost past knee depth to allow the back guys to have their feet submerged. Now that I think could have been a very scary feel for the ones in the front. But they had to trust the most in the word God had placed within them. , And that there was a promise, for their safety as long as they had faith and believed.

Now I am not minimizing the enormity of making a move, mine has been incredibly long in the waiting. I have been avoiding it for almost two years now.
And I cannot say that it was not difficult.


Isaiah 43:18 Forget what happened in the past, and do not dwell on events from long ago.

I have learnt that certain things in this life, has to happen in order for us to make this move. Because if these things never happened, would you ever have moved out of your comfort place, and safety of the place you reside in?
But I can attest to it being the hardest thing I have ever done in this life thus far. But when doing things in Faith and trust in the one true God, it all falls into place quite quickly. THE WATERS PART …

Staying in hope and trusting for change, when the call for a move is stronger.

Sometimes in life there are things that need to happen for us to take the calling to move. Sometimes the call has been inkling for a long while, but we are just too comfortable, or that we just want to believe something else to the feeling that is growing, to avoid the signs that are showing.

But it was never to be about what others could see, but rather what God places within you and that the calling comes from Him.

It is about being willing to go beyond what people believe in your ability, and not to allow their lack of faith to stop you from moving into your ability in Christ.
But it is Christ that is able.
It is Christ that is within you.
It is His Spirit that has made you able to do all things in Christ Jesus.
It is the confidence that God has made you and called you for greater things on earth for His Kingdom.
It is the Faith that others don’t see the waters part for your path, but the confidence in Him that makes Him move for you to walk on dry ground.

My pain is real; it is how I started this blog today.

The reality of leaving a life time behind, and looking towards a future that is unknown.

A training ground of 15 years within a body and life and friendship building that gets left behind for what God has planned.

It is pain, and it comes with a level of sadness.
Sadness at how easily and quickly a life can change and from one page to the next, how things just get left behind.
People just so easily give up and move on. Things get swept under the mat, a life gets forgotten.
I asked many questions after making this call to move.

How is it that when something happens, there are never any follow up or why and how can it be fixed.
How is it that there is never any explanations to mistakes or attempts to even rectify in order to move on and grow stronger bonds.
People are just to willing to say ok well, I made a mistake you made your decision to leave… good-bye.

Within a series of events I have learnt many lessons the Lord has needed me to learn and to see and feel the things in this world that He sees.

But I understand and I see how that rather than crawling into a dark room and becoming depressed He keeps going with love, grace and mercy for us as we make these mistakes against Him as well.

I Told God when my sister died, that I wanted to live totally and a 1000% for Him. That I wanted to be used by Him and to Help and be of use in His Church body His Kingdom and this world for the Glory of Him and no man. I Asked the Lord to open my eyes and teach my Spiritual hands and the ears of my Soul and Body How, How to move where He needs me to move, How to walk where He needs me to walk and How to do what He needs me to do.

I NEVER imagined this walk I can honestly say. I thought being in a body would be a safe place for me to learn and grow. I thought having loved ones around would be a good place where you would receive the encouragement every day to dig in and dig deeper, that we would build each other up encourage each other and be each others cheerleaders in the Kingdom to try harder be stronger and move further into the Spirit. I thought my walk was with people in the same state of mind and desire to grow this Kingdom of Jesus on Earth with the Holy Spirit. But I also thought people trusted the Holy Spirit fully? I wanted to believe that growing with people for so many years was relationship. I also believed that it also was so much more that. I trusted that they had a stronger relationship with God than myself. I trusted that they heard from His Spirit in a clearer way than myself. And I believed that they were definitely more (as people would like to say) more “anointed” than myself, so I followed. I was hungry to learn from them, I needed to grow from their testimonies and their experiences. I was desperate to hear the voice and see the face of God, as I believed they followed every day of their life.

But in this walk over the years, my desire to know more about God I was seeking from the people He placed in my life and in my church. I expected that He would prove Himself to me through their experiences and revelations. That they would be able to and want to help me in this growth I was seeking.

Well, I was wrong.

I was wrong to expect anything from man. Its not what God wants for us.

I have walked for 10 years in writing my feelings and revelations and experiences down in songs books, blogs, private pages, and in so many different avenues, but I have felt unworthy.

Whenever I tried to follow the voice of His Spirit inside me, people would shut me down, making me have thoughts like – “Did I hear right, do I not hear the Holy Spirit?”
I started doubting God within me.
But I would become stronger in my pursuit of Him, I wanted more of Him and to prove that He truly does live in me and speak to everyone ells in this world. With this pain of rejection I felt from man I started digging deeper alone.

I became less self-conscious and rather than moving away, I started delving into His word. I started having Him not just as a dictator through His word anymore but rather as a friend that guides me. He started showing me these revelations to grow me without the help of others but rather through the pain I felt through others forcing me to seek more from Him
But my need for Spiritual guidance from the people I thought and felt were “more advanced in this walk” was so strong.
I just wanted to be in right standing with what was expected of me. I wanted people to always be honest and just, intentional and accountable, and I was desperate to be all those things to them.

My walk has grown me stronger through each revelation.
God has shown me steps to my path through each storm I have passed through within His grace.
He has proven to me over and over and over again, that He is the one I must look to and that the voice that whispers in side I MUST TRUST.
Because mans actions will always be questionable at best.


Because we care, I think?

We don’t want to encourage someone if we are unable to see that the person has the ability or talent in our perspective, so we rather say things like, well maybe that’s not for you, maybe you should try something ells? Especially when a person isn’t very confident. Its easier to dissuade the person from what they feel is their calling, than to back it 100% in fear of it failing and lets face it, then you will be the “wrong encourager.” It will backlash onto US (selfish much?) But it’s the truth; we lack Faith in God for others too.

We don’t openly want to tell people that their vision wont fit within the vision we have because theirs cant honestly be better that ours. Why? Could it be that we don’t trust the Holy Spirits working within them? Or we trust our own Holy Spirit more within us?
Are we not to be cheerleaders to grow others rather than fighters for our own path.
Are we not supposed to be honest and true, open and real, authentic believers that GOD is able to do all things in and through us as well as others.

I have walked a road of self-doubt I thought.

But in actual fact I have walked a road of mistrust.

I have not trusted the Holy Spirits discernment within me.
I have not trusted, although He has spoken and shown me many times over and over again that He can use me, this awkward girl that has NO musical background or real great education to string together a song from nothing but a few words that jump form sermons, feelings, scripture, testimonies, and anything He anointed for me to see. He has proven to me over and over and over again that He is real. That He can take the meek and mild, insecure and unworthy, sinful and rebellious, and He can use me, only If I am just willing to be real.

And although for the last 15 years I have walked a road of all these things within a body I desperately wanted to embrace me, I have learnt my most valued lesson.

PEOPLE are not there to embrace you.


God is the one that we need to seek our encouragement from; He is the one that deems us worthy, not man. And once we realize this the confidence He uses to replace the insecurity and lack of self worth will blow your mind.

This path within Gods calling, the deeper you move, I now see, can become very lonely.
It is a path that some will turn into resentment and offenses, hurts that consume and disappointments that cause distrust.

But if you are able to focus your hearts needs on to the creator of all, you will be able to step into the love that He has that will consume your thoughts beyond any pain because of the school of troubles He needs you to experience.
The deeper and more personal your walk becomes with Jesus the more grace He can give you for the shortfalls of man, and the more He is able to show you that man does most things because of His own distrust in God, not because of anything you do.

Our walks are personal, not congregational, but we must be rooted in a body. Our paths are intentional, not relational, but through relationships we grow. He needs our focus and our trust. Only with Faith in the calling He burns inside us, will we be able to rise above the ashes in glory to our King.
We must always look to Him, for our answers. We must always trust Him for our paths. And we must never allow man to dictate or dissuade us from what He has placed within us. Neither must we ever take offence or hurt from man that cannot see yet. But rather pray that whom ever God places in your path will be able to see the Jesus within you, and not the Juanelle within the Jesus.

I never want to be seen as person talking about MY ministry, or a person not giving all the honor and glory to my King. I don’t have a MINISTRY; I am a SERVANT to my King. I do not have a name or a title, I am a follower of the Great and powerful creator of all things, a God that gave me His son, and a son that died for my sins, to give me apart of Him that resides within me, His Spirit that is able to do all things as in Christ Jesus the word that came to life.

I am no one. HE is everything.


Help me to love all that you love so very much that You died for us all.

I pray today, that If you are guiding someone into Gods Kingdom, that you will be able to learn how to be an encourager of a calling God has placed within a fellow seeker of God, with honesty and belief, faith and trust in HIS SPIRITS power and not your ability to see or lack of seeing. I pray that if you are a follower of a leader in this kingdom, that you will have grace to all mankind’s shortfalls, as we all are sinners seeking redemption and a path, and that you will trust God, and only God, for your path. Don’t get discouraged when people don’t do what you expect, rather see it as their own growth walk that’s personal and still in creation versus a direct reflection on yours. Don’t have unrealistic expectations, but also don’t create them. When there is a need and someone is seeking guidance, put yourself aside, and do the work of the Spirit that is expected of you, lets become cheerleaders of each other, rather that cheering by ourselves for ourselves. And remember not everyone is born confident; some need al little push to get there. I pray you are able to see the seed within the meek that God deems to grow into the Oak of the forest. That you are not only blinded by the brightest planet, but you are able to see the little star that needs a bit more oxygen to grow into the brightest light for Jesus.

If you are called to lead, then lead.

There are no excuses. God’s will is the outcome.

Please leave a comment or a testimony if you feel led I would love to hear your thoughts within your personal journey.
Remember trust His calling.


Philippians 3:14 I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God’s heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:28 We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
11. Psalm 33:18 But the LORD watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love.
Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and show you the way to go; with My eye on you, I will give counsel.
13. Proverbs 24:14 In the same way, wisdom is sweet to your soul. If you find it, you will have a bright future, and your hopes will not be cut short.
Isaiah 58:11 The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.

Psalm 1:2-3 Instead he finds pleasure in obeying the Lord’s commands; he meditates on his commands day and night. He is like a tree planted by flowing streams; it yields its fruit at the proper time, and its leaves never fall off. He succeeds in everything he attempts.
Psalm 119:104-105 I obtain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every false way. Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light for my pathway.

Proverbs 6:23 For this command is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and correction and instruction are the way to life,

1 John 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.
22. Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

1 John 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.
22. Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.


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