2019?! Really??!!

What happened! How did I get to 40??..

My walk through my trials, testing and probation period, WOW what a ride!

And when forty years were expired, there appeared to him in the wilderness of Mount Sinai an angel of the Lord in a flame of fire in a bush…saying…I have seen the affliction of my people which is in Egypt, and I have heard their groaning, and am come down to deliver them. And now come, I will send thee into Egypt – Acts 7:30,32,34

In my life’s run up to 40 and the revelations I have grown from, I can see how God has carried me through, but also He has allowed me to experience tough trials and testing in order to grow my character. I have had days of doubt, fear, disappointment, and so many more within this path I have walked up until now at the brink of 40, and I am sure I will experience more to come, all to grow me and to teach me for the right time HE needs me. 

So I started this year knowing that it would be a pivotal one for me within My work, personal and especially spiritual life. For months now since I turned 39 I have been wrestling with the thought of turning 40. You see, over the past 10 years, I would joke about the process of woman turning 40, because of their behavior, and felt I wonder how I would handle it.

There are the following tell tale sights I used to say, that depict the strength of character that happens within a woman turning 40.

1- the SUPER WOMAN non athlete turn PRO

The ones that decide to go from zero to hero in sport as they decide that they can’t go on with this un healthy life style of their thirties and so they turn to becoming fit. 

2. The divorcée 

The ones that decide enough is enough, they have given all they can to husbands whether they were good enough or not, they will stand up for themselves from here on out. 

3. The plastic is fantastic

The ones that turn to Krystal jewelry, breast enlargements and face lift surgery in order to hold on to their youth and feel less fragile about growing older. 

4. The life is short 

The ones that decide to tackle the dreams and aspirations they have always had to prove to themselves they can.

I always said, I wonder if I would be any one of these? 

Well, If I look back at at my life I can clearly separate the growth periods God allowed me to go through. They almost stand out to me after a word from a dear friend years ago explaining the life cycles of a woman. She said basically in my translation: 

 1-19 = self centered – I added this one, not necessarily in a bad way, but it’s the time where you grow and learn most things about yourself and your abilities, and how you learn deal with people and your emotions.

Example- As a teenager especially, we strive to be apart, whether in a good or a bad way, going through school is all about getting invited, being apart and fitting in. It’s all about where do I fit and how will it affect me. SELF centered

20-29 = insecure – it’s the time you doubt your abilities and test the water of life while you try different avenues for your future, while desperately needing affirmation and approval just to affirm that you are on the right path.

Example-  You constantly worry about what people think, even if you walk in the shops and someone doesn’t greet you, you worry about what you did, what you said or whether someone else said something to make them ignore you. INSECURE

30-39 = exhausted – it’s the time where most woman are trying to juggle home life, career, marriage, children, and looking for Gods purpose for them in it all, just trying to keep all those balls in the air, it’s a time where clearly life is just hectic for everyone.

Example- When you walk through the shop in a daze not noticing the four friends you rushed past and did not greet (leaving them feeling 20-29 insecure), while having to return a top at the shop and running late to fetch the kids and all while your client is already waiting back at the office. EXHAUSTED

I now find myself at the brink of 40.

I decided to look up what Gods word says about 40 years. And I was blown away by it, here is an insert I found online. 

The Meaning of Numbers: 

The Number 40

Mentioning 146 times in Scripture, the number 40 generally symbolizes a period of testing, trial or probation. During Moses’ life he lived forty years in Egypt and forty years in the desert before God selected him to lead his people out of slavery.

Moses was also on Mount Sinai for 40 days and nights, on two separate occasions (Exodus 24:18, 34:1 – 28), receiving God’s laws. He also sent spies, for forty days, to investigate the land God promised the Israelites as an inheritance (Numbers 13:25, 14:34).

The prophet Jonah powerfully warned ancient Nineveh, for forty days, that its destruction would come because of its many sins. The prophet Ezekiel laid on His right side for 40 days to symbolize Judah’s sins (Ezekiel 4:6).

Elijah went 40 days without food or water at Mount Horeb. Jesus was tempted by the devil not just three times, but MANY times during the 40 days and nights he fasted just before his ministry began. He also appeared to his disciples and others for 40 days after his resurrection from the dead.

The number forty can also represent a generation of man. Because of their sins after leaving Egypt, God swore that the generation of Israelites who left Egyptian bondage would not enter their inheritance in Canaan (Deuteronomy 1). The children of Israel were punished by wandering the wilderness for 40 years before a new generation was allowed to possess the promised land.

Jesus, just days before his crucifixion, prophesied the total destruction of Jerusalem (Matthew 24:1 – 2, Mark 13:1 – 2). Forty years after his crucifixion in 30 A.D., the mighty Roman Empire destroyed the city and burned its beloved temple to the ground.

Appearances of the number forty

The book of Exodus, with its 40 chapters and 1,213 verses, is the seventh longest book. The longest is the Psalms.

From the time they entered the promised land, to the time of King Saul, Israel was sporadically governed by a number of individuals known as Judges. Though they did not rule like a king, they nevertheless had a tremendous influence on the people, as they represented God and were inspired to execute his will. Judges who served 40 years include Othniel, Deborah and Barak, Eli and Gideon.

The first three human kings over the children of Israel, Saul, David and Solomon, each ruled for forty years (1050 to 930 B.C.). After the united kingdom split into two separate pieces, King Joash served forty years as one of Judah’s better kings.

Abraham tried to bargain with God to NOT destroy Sodom and Gomorrah if forty righteous people were found (Genesis 18:29). Both Isaac and Esau were forty years old when they were first married (Genesis 25:20, 26:34).

God flooded the earth by having it rain for forty days and nights (Genesis 7:12). After the patriarch Jacob (Israel) died in Egypt, the Egyptians spent forty days embalming his body (Genesis 50:3)

How does the number 40 relate to humility?

God allowed the ancient Israelites, from time to time, to be harassed and dominated by certain enemies in order to chastise and humble them for their sins. The Philistine’s, in the southern and western parts of Israel’s land, harassed them from 1105 to 1065 B.C. God’s resolution to the harassment was Samson (see Judges 13:1, 1Samuel 7:13, 15 – 17).

Additional info on the Biblical Meaning of 40

The Bible was written by forty different people. Those called of God NOW are under probation, or judgment, based on how they live by every word of God.

Just reading this insert and looking back at my almost 40 year milestone, I am in awe of the testing and revelations Gad has allowed for me to walk through and the enlightenment of the space I am yet to walk into.

I am embarrassed to say that I have been using the fact that I am turning 40 as an excuse for many things,

  • my weight gain – CLEARLY  because of the hormones at this age. Even though I have been shoving everything in my own mouth and willingly eating and drinking myself into a stupor because life is a little tough. ( I Forgot to rest in Christ and let the world affect me)
  • My forgetfulness – CLEARLY it’s because I am turning 40 so must be my age. Even though I am now able to take on so much more in a day because I have no other choice financially due to my own doing of the past years bad financial choices I made without consulting God. (Yet when I rest in God I can see things clear as day)
  • My body aches – CLEARLY it’s because of my age my work and that I am tired of working so long. Never mind that I don’t feed my body what it’s due and abuse it with the wrong posture no exercise  and  bad eating habits, causing lack of nutrients and minerals like Vit B and magnesium Calcium and Omegas. I would rather have another coffee /wine and another burger filled with saturated fats. (When I feed myself on Gods word I am never hungry or thirsty, and I o my need to sustain it with food from His earth = pain free)

Wow how we can lie to ourselves and willingly stay in the pit of despair. 

I think the reality and revelation for me in this run up to 40 has in fact been a time of testing, trial and probation, it has been a time where I needed to grow and learn who I am in Christ and where I want to be in this world. It’s a time where I have learnt many hard lessons realizing especially in the last five years within this space of putting pen to paper, the refining of Gods hand on my life. And finally the decision from my side to step into the fullness of what God has and wants for me in His kingdom with faith and trust that He always knows best within ‘Gods plan’ for my life. 

I believe in His Purpose for what’s to come, and I will stand strong in what is right and wrong. As a dear friend of mine preached a while back, you can not stand with one foot in the world and one in the kingdom. You need to make a choice. 

So where will I be at 40? 

Which one will I be.

Well I guess all of them in a way! But with a twist…

1- the SUPER WOMAN non athlete turn PRO

Maybe not super woman or athlete, but just a conscious choice to be active and take care Of my body. The temple God gave me to live on earth with. It serves me well so best I take care of it. 

2. The divorcée 

Not my husband EVER! But rather my toxic thoughts and worldly lifestyle. Choosing to ALWAYS rather walk in The footsteps of Christ and the ways He taught us to be. I divorce the negative lifestyles that actually just hurt us. 

3. The plastic is fantastic

Hhhmmmmm maybe not this one for me, a little scared of the knife, but I will take care of my body and you know what if make up makes me feel good. It ain’t hurting anyone, if surgery is what we You need and brave enough for, do what you need to do, if lashes gives you a boost, I’ll do them for you! Just do it with both feet in the Kingdom. 

4. The life is short 

The ones that decide to tackle the dreams and aspirations they have always had to prove to themselves they can.

ABSOLUTELY! But I will follow Gods guidance fully and rest in His graciousness as HE shows me the way forward. It’s like a whole new world has opened in front of me … do I fail still at times, sure! But I always turn my focus to Him.

Where ever you are In Your walk with Gods plan for your life running up to 20/30/40/50/60/70,80/90 remember to enjoy the process, as you trust each trial is part of a plan to prepare you for the greatness you are made in order for Him to use you, even if that greatness is for Him to reach one soul right there where you are. It’s worth it. Our dreams differ, some are crazy big some are not. What ever Gods laid on your heart big or small, it’s of value to Him

I promise you through experience ( ok my so far experience), the hard times don’t  last, especially if you choose to rest In Him and not focus on the world, I have tried to look at each situation no matter how hard it’s been for a lesson I could receive. The revelation God wanted to reveal over my past ‘coming on almost 40 years’, and I am in awe of the way He has grown me in this time of testing, trial and probation. It definitely is how you look at your situation, do t let the worlds views stray you from seeing Gods hand.

I wasn’t ready yet, I needed growing pruning crazy winds and raging storms to push my roots deeper into Him, in order for the time to come to make my branches reach the canopy of the forest where I would feel His light on my leaves! 

So if you are in the raging storm, and your laying those roots in preparation… keep your eyes on Him He is growing you for something great, and if you are already past the space I am in and haven’t seen that light above the canopy of your forest, I will ask you. Have you fully stepped out of the world with both feet? What’s holding you from making the decision to see the light? Yourself… we have to decide to step out of the darkness, He is patiently waiting to give you and make you part of His Glorious eternity.

So Bring on 40, cause I walk with my trust in Jesus.

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One Comment

  • Liz De Doncker

    March 27, 2019 at 6:58 am

    You are a true inspiration to many Juanelle. I rate 40 is only the beginning…… We are wiser and far more content with who we are and the lessons learned. Enjoy getting older, it’s denied to many. May God continue to Bless You ❤️


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